2. Step onto a sidewalk and expect cars to stop.
3. Honk greetings at people as I drive by.
4. Order second helpings of grilled squid with ink for the seven year old.
5. Send texts to fellow Americans in attempts to understand second grade homework.
6. Say, “See you later” to strangers every time I leave a restaurant, bar, or shop.
7. Wear eyeliner.
8. Have a favorite donkey.
9. Find facial hair attractive.
10. Syncopated clapping.
11. Worship all parts of the pig.